A few days ago, I read an article about friendship and the kinds of friends we can have over the course of our lifetime. The article suggested there are 10 kinds of friendships, and out of all of them, there is only one that counts as real and true, and that the rest have to either be terminated or ignored. It rang a bell as I felt I could relate to it by experience. The article warned us that all friendships are not to last forever of course, as some could hurt us or make us disappointed. The reason could be either the lack of support when we need or expect it, or when we are treated unfairly. The article divided friendships into four quadrants. The fourth quadrant was the group of "Rock Friends" who are the "real thing" and who make us happy and support us. The other three groups were either unhealthy, boring, or both, and were recommended to be demoted to the bottom of our list and in a "out of sight, out of mind" kind of category. Read the article here. This advice, combined with what I heard today from one of my favorite motivational speakers, made me determined to share the depth of my understanding about the subject here. The speaker of the show warned us about letting the turmoil and noise of the outside getting to the inside. This turmoil could be anger, sadness or discouragement caused by others. He said that there is nothing wrong about feeling anger, hatred and other negative feelings, but when we let these feelings sink in and enter our sacred inner-space, or as he puts it "our inner sanctuary", we will change the pattern of our mind and from then on, we will act upon the negativity and thus we will feel, see and manifest negativity. From that moment on, that negativity becomes a reality and part of our destiny. He suggested not to react to those moments of discouragement and anger, and instead ignore those who harm us to protect ourselves. After the show, I remembered what beloved Wayne Dyer suggested to me in a short private meeting that I was so fortunate to have with him after one of his public speaking events in 2011. I kept thinking about what he said to me that day and tried to digest it over the years. This wonderful human being advised me to always choose love over anything else in life, and never have any doubts that love is the highest and ultimate gift anyone can store in their sacred sanctuary, the heart. He told me to love others as God loves us, without condition and without judgement. He asked me to always think of one thing when someone hurts me, and that is, if that person knew any better, they would have acted differently and to believe they did the best they could. This advice resonated with me back then when I remembered that this honorable man was able to forgive his father who left his family when he was born, after many years of feeling extreme bitterness and hatred, by understanding his father's limitations and by believing that his father had done the best he could. He believed that he would have acted differently if his circumstances were different. Wayne chose to love and to forgive the unforgettable because seeing the goodness in others is also a choice: “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." In the video below, Listen to Wayne as he shares his story and how forgiving his father impacted his life. This message of love could have only come from a man like Dyer who has changed and saved so many lives by showing people what they are capable of, if they feel and act from the higher place of true and pure understanding of oneness. His message has helped me over and over in my life whenever I felt I couldn't comprehend or deal with something that was well beyond my will power and when the hurt and sadness was overwhelming. He said that love is the ultimate remedy to all emotional wounds. When we think from our inner-scared space, our heart, we can not, and will not, judge others because we understand the limitations that we develop over our lives. We feel the deep connectedness and oneness with anyone and anything that shares this life on Earth with us. It is an amazing piece of advice and it is life changing. He is right to say: "When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace.” Although I feel that the recommendations of the article and my favorite speaker both have merit and are very true, Wayne suggestions are more than protecting "me" from "others" and helping "myself" to find peace. What he shares with us is well beyond "me" and expands to "we", because not only does he teach us how to protect and heal ourselves, but to understand and to have compassion for those who do us harm. His solution brings about ultimate joy to the soul and creates everlasting freedom and salvation. He takes us to a place where we all feel we are connected, that we are capable of acting from a higher frequency in our temporary home here on Earth, and that we are given the chance to climb to the uncomfortable and untravelled zones of our being, and to pave a path to the higher spaces within.
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